Once upon a time I was so desperate to become the next world famous writer (exaggeration obviously).
The idealist inside of my came out at full force and said ‘I can create a new blog post every day, 2 or 3 days at most, especially during busier times.’
Since starting university (last October), I have not written anything.
Maybe I did have the time, but I felt as if there was not. Even now, I know I have tonnes of work to do, and internship searching, and self development, and everything else a 19 year should be doing. Instead I have invariably chosen the least productive alternative – a scrambling mess which I am not even going to proof read on a forgotten blog. Not that this blog was ever acknowledged in the first place.
So what I am trying to say is, that I do not have a clue what I am trying to say. I simply just felt like I needed to get some words down.
I am sure you have had that feeling too.
These are the words I have chosen for today.
Apologise anyone who might have accidentally came across this pointless post.
With the majority of my best friends off to university, this has been a goodbye season for me.
I’m quite introverted and have only a few close friends. it makes me form strong attachments to people, which makes saying goodbye so difficult.
There is so much pain in my heart knowing that I won’t see the lovely people I have come across and let into my life in the past few years. However I am so excited for them and I can’t wait to see what they achieve in the future.
There’s one quote I need to constantly remind myself of.
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
– Dr Seuss
I am so grateful and fortunate to find genuinely good people who have took me on little adventures. One day I will look back at those memories with a smile, whilst in the process of creating new ones.
For those of you who don’t know, Star City is hidden away in a slightly awkward place to get to in the bright and busy Birmingham.
I went there to spend some time with my family before I pack up and go off to university for a new start! Star City is suitable for anyone! It had literally everything! Laser quest, bowling, cinema, rock climbing, mini golf, zorbing, rides, dodgems, an insane choice of restaurants, check, check, check!
I was having so much fun that I forgot to take pictures for y’all!! But I had a game of bowling which I failed at miserably, a try at pool and table tennis. By the end of the day I was sweaty to a very unattractive level! The highlight of the trip was competing with my family in a fun mini golf course.
The day brought back the child in me, which was so relieving after having to spend the last few months with new adult responsibilities.
No stress days are rare, but when they happen, daaayuumn
I prefer to write about meaningful topics but sometimes, just sometimes, I feel the need to vent.
Aren’t they the worst!
Yes, they save lots of time, can be fun and can make you feel freakin’ popular when you turn on your wifi and realise you have 173583826 unread messages.
However, when it comes down to creating a plan and actually following it, they are a real struggle.
Here are three problems I have with making a plan on group chats:
1. Off topic
There’s always one or two who are on a mission to talk about anything BUT the original topic. Annoyingly, those topics are usually more interesting and a week later you forget why the group chat was made in the first place.
In person there’s usually a leader who makes the first and final decision of the group plan, and the other members happily nod their heads to that ‘group decision’. However, online, we all have the power. Everyone throws around their contradictory ideas and insist on them, and eventually every idea gets cancelled out.
3. Zzzzzzz zzzzzzz
It’s nice to feel popular but even better, to get sleep, to be able to do work without distractions, not having to waste time reading all those unread messages and not wanting to scream and throw your phone at the wall.
After a recommendation from a good friend of mine I finally came around to watching When Harry Met Sally. For those of you who haven’t seen it, the film is a classic about a male and female friendship. Both lead characters are funny and likeable, it’s a unique film that I’d recommend everyone to watch!
Considering this film was released in 1989 the question of whether a guy and a girl who find each other at least relatively attractive can remain just friends, would have been a topical debate.
However, evidence from recent studies and personal experience, the answer to the question is a big yes!
I have some close guy friends who I have no interest in at all, for now at least! I will admit, I have had a crush on a few of them. Most of them were very short-lived and out of confusion, but now I can look back and laugh it off.
Overall I think that as long as certain boundaries are set (for example, not texting daily at 2am, oops), a male-female friendship can be one of the most valuable things.
One day this guy, let’s call him Edward (his actual name isn’t Edward unfortunately) is my stars and moon. The next day, not so much, in fact, the complete opposite.
I full well know that this is an unhealthy relationship to be in causing a harmful effect on my everyday life, but that’s probably because I’m currently in the ‘hate stage’.
In a few days time he will be my perfect human being again.
It’s a never-ending cycle.
Here’s my kind of vague action plan to try to break the cycle (there’s always time for a GoT reference):
• Keep busy – This will leave less time for my mind to go straight back to him. I’ve been working out, learning french, applying to jobs, preparing for uni, singing, dancing, reading, the lot.
• Focus on the good – I have healthy and stable lifelong friendships which I’d rather prioritise my time for.
• Break the cycle – There is no point of ghosting, that would make me toxic and immature. Yet maintaining interaction won’t change anything. I haven’t figured everything out, but keeping our interactions minimal and killing him with kindness seems like the best way to go (there’s always time for a Twilight reference too).
After reading Lolita I decided to read another controversial classic, ‘A Clockwork Orange’ by Anthony Burgess.
Initially I found the book near to impossible to comprehend, as it was narrated by a teenager called Alex, speaking in Nadsat, which is teenage slang created by the author.It wasn’t fun flicking back to the glossary every five seconds but luckily I got the gist of it quite quickly.
A Clockwork Orange starts off with one brutal scene after another, making the main character, Alex, and his ‘droogs’ highly unlikeable. However as the book continues, new and interesting ideas are explored including psychology, law and politics, and each character takes a different journey that hooks you in!
The only negative I can think of right now is that the book title was mentioned waaaay too many times, I mean, we get it.
Finally, it’s a short read with only around 200 pages, therefore it’s a perfect way to spend your next free weekend!
I plan to utilise the 3 for £10 offer on Amazon when looking for my next read, but I’m not sure which books to choose! It would be great for you guys to give me some recommendations.
After nearly having a panic attack before I entered my school I finally plucked up the courage to open that little brown envelope.Then I saw it.
AAA* bitches 😄
I’m so happy to be going to Warwick university to study Accounting and Finance, making myself and my parents proud.All those spots and lost hair was worth it, hard work pays off.
In October I’ll have a fresh start in life and I can’t wait! I’m mostly looking forward to making new friends, becoming more independent, developing my skill set further and getting one step closer to fulfilling my dream.
To celebrate I decided to skip the nightclubbing and ordered a butterfly chicken from Nandos takeaway. *drooling*
Like every other A Level student in the UK right now, I feel completely petrified about tomorrow, because for those of you unaware, tomorrow is results day.
At around 8am I’ll be opening a little brown envelope with my shaking hands to find out what my future holds.
After that I’ll either be (Gone Girl style):
A) Jumping for joy – I’ve got into my first choice university!
B) Mild reaction – sufficiently satisfied for getting into my insurance university.
C) Creating a puddle of tears – I’m in Clearing.
I have no regrets about the amount of effort I put into my studies, I literally worked my ass off from all the sitting down!
So if o don’t achieve want I wanted I’ll just have to accept that I’m simply not cut out for my original path.
The exams didn’t go as well as I hoped so I know I’ll be a trembling anxious mess tomorrow! It doesn’t help that I have the highest of expectations from my family, friends and teachers. Though I can’t change anything now so I’m just trying to enjoy this day, keeping myself busy, which I advise everybody to do!
For those in the same situation as me, here is a check list for the all important day:
• Stay calm – Easier said than done, yes, but it’s essential to stay even headed especially if it comes down to making lifetime decisions on the spot.
• Look at the courses available through clearing – The free Clearing Telegraph app will list the places from 6pm today. Make a list of alternate courses to save you some stress on the big day!
• Sleep early – This one is obvious.
• Details – Know when you can collect your results, and your UCAS Track login details, which opens at 8am. *eek*
• Be aware of alternate options – There’s so many other directions to go, research apprenticeships and gap years, or consider finding a job or redoing A Levels for another year.
(Unless you have stereotypical Asian parents like mine who will only accept the university option.)
Wish you all the best!